Couples Therapy Overcoming Doubts for a Healthier Relationship
Why are people so reluctant to go to couples therapy?
Going to treatment with your partner can change your life. It can help couples work out their issues, talk to each other better, and feel closer. Even though it may be helpful, they are still afraid to get help from a professional. If you know why someone does not wish to attend therapy, you can help them rid their fear and go. These are the reasons why so many don’t want to do couples therapy.
Stigma Around Therapy
The shame that many people associate with mental health treatment is one of the biggest reasons people don’t get themselves into couples therapy. Too many are scared to go to therapy because it’s a ‘thing’ you’re supposed to be weak or have failed. It might make them feel bad because they’re scared their friends or family will judge them for asking for help. Fighting this shame and making therapy seem normal as a healthy way to keep a relationship strong is important for getting couples to ask for help.
Fear of Confrontation
In couples therapy, it’s common to talk about tough themes and deal with problems that haven’t been solved. A lot of people are afraid that talking about these touchy issues will cause fights or emotional upheaval. What stops people getting to therapy is not that they have a lack of problem, it’s that they’re scared of dealing with the problem. But if the talk takes a bad turn, a good therapist can help steer it in a healthful direction and give the couple an overhead where they can resolve these issues.
Doubt About Effectiveness
Some couples aren’t sure if treatment will really help their relationship get better. Some may have heard different things from family or friends, or they may not trust the process itself. This worry can keep them from going to therapy in the first place. Really important to know that how well therapy works rests a lot on how willing the couple is to work on things and how good the therapist is at what they do. Therapy gives a lot of pairs useful tools and new ideas that help them make changes for the better.
Financial Concerns
The price of therapy can be a big turnoff for many partners. Attending therapy can cost a lot, and not all insurance plans cover these kinds of care. Two people might think they can’t afford therapy if they’re already struggling financially in other areas of their life. Scary therapy, but they’re paying for the health of the relationship, and the life this will enable. Because therapy isn’t particularly cheap, many therapists offer payment plans or some kind of sliding scale set according to income.
Time Constraints
Couple’s have little time to make it a priority to see a therapist in modern life that is often busy and demanding. On account of the numerous work obligations, family responsibilities and other needs scheduling regular therapy sessions can be difficult. More or less, some couples manage to come by the idea that ‘they are now too busy’ to devote time to their relationship. Yet, therapy is time consuming, but it’s worth your time and energy because it can have amazing long term benefits.
Belief That Problems Will Resolve Themselves
Some couples feel their problems are quickly going to work themselves out. This type of mindset almost encourages a passive attitude towards relationship problems and the ideas of some of those issues can broil and grow. Some conflicts will fade away, but many need to be proactively resolved for good. Couples who realize that therapy can help them work through communication and understanding issues tend to weather their challenges easier.
Fear of Change
Even things that result in a healthier relationship can be scary to change. For some, this means they fear therapy will result in big changes to the dynamic of your relationship, and that is disturbing. And there’s a fear that this will be something that they have no idea how to begin, so couplings are afraid to take the plunge and go to therapy. But, it’s important to note that change can equal positive growth, closeness and a more fulfilling partnership.
Previous Negative Experiences
People who’ve had bad experiences in the past with therapy might not like to try again with someone they meet and see if they are a good fit for them. This is why you may have felt the doctor just wasn’t listening, or simply wasn’t getting it, or wasn’t offering you good advice. One person is skeptical about the value of therapy because of bad experiences in the past. It may be different for each pair and each therapist to find the right fit. Couples should be aware that not all therapists are the same.
Desire to Maintain Privacy
Couples may feel nervous talking with a stranger about their own things. However, it can be hard for people to want to seek therapy because of the idea of opening up about some very intimate aspects of their relationship. Added to all other reasons, privacy concerns could also worsen this hesitancy, for people may be wondering whether confidentiality is being guaranteed, or the therapist divulging their details. Yet, therapists are subject to ethical guidelines mandating confidentiality which facilitates exploration of the problem in couples.
Misunderstanding the Therapy Process
A lot of people don’t understand what couples therapy really is. An awful lot of people think that treatment is only for couples who are about to split up or for people who want to blame or accuse each other. This misunderstanding can lead to anxiety and also resistance. However, in reality, common people need not wait until they have ruined where they can benefit from therapy, and therapists don’t usually blame couples but work to foster constructive communication and understanding.
Individual Issues Taking Precedence
Sometimes the problems are in the relationship itself rather than with one or both of the people in it. Sometimes, your partner is too busy dealing with their own challenges: mental health issues, work stress, or family dynamics, to be in the headspace to focus on couples therapy. Problem is, fixing individual problems will help the relationship as a whole. However, many therapists will recommend that individuals deal with problems within their relationship at the same time as they work on personal issues in a more well rounded way.
Waiting for the “Right Time”
A lot of couples assume they are able to work things out on their own, and should give relationship issues time to resolve themselves before going to therapy. But you can’t always start therapy at a perfect moment, and often waiting makes it worse. Doing something about it quicker rather than waiting to react to it can help with small issues before they become big issues.
Conclusion
Learning what keeps couples away from seeking couples’ therapy is essential to dissipating the barriers and persuade couples to go and seek help. Although the road towards finding a therapist is daunting, the potential benefits are significantly more than the challenges. Some therapies have a safe and supportive environment whereby couples take the opportunity to talk more about things and figure out ways to deal with problems together.
So if you (or your partner) is going through a hard time in your relationship, don’t get put off by a lack of trust or fear. A big step to building a healthier, more happiness relationship is getting help from a skilled couples therapist. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, it just means you know that what you are doing is bad for your relationship and are prepared to take the braver steps so that it is better.
